Cheyenne Stone is 31, works as an executive recruiter in private equity, pays all her own bills, and lives alone in Chicago.
People still talk to her like she is not quite a real adult.
The reason, she says, is that she does not have a partner.
“People will treat me like a child, or at least like less of an adult because I am single,” Stone told CreatorZine.
“But because I haven’t found someone I want to spend my life with, I get seen as younger than others my age.”
She has never been in a long-term relationship. She wants one.
She is actively dating. None of that stops the comments.
“You’re a hot mess but we still love you”
Stone says the things people say to her about being single range from patronising to genuinely hurtful.
“You’re a hot mess but we still love you.”
“You’re too picky and your standards are too high.”
“You will find someone when the time is right.”
“I would never comment on someone else’s marriage, so why are they commenting on my relationship status?” she said.
“It makes me feel less than when people try to give unsolicited advice, or make me feel badly about how my life has played out thus far.”
She recalls a gathering with a group of women when she was around 28 where she went an entire evening without being asked a single question.
Conversations revolved around engagements, weddings and pregnancy.
When she tried to contribute, she was interrupted repeatedly.
“It would be great if society could value the other amazing things women are doing outside of getting married and having babies,” she said.
The guilt list
Stone recently shared a list of things she refuses to feel guilty about as a single woman in her thirties.
Ordering takeout instead of cooking for one again. Not affording every wedding and trip.
Walking away from almost-love. Going through periods where she does not want to date at all.
Structuring her schedule around her own needs because there is nobody else to share the load with.
“Our world is made for coupled adults, not single adults,” she said.
“Everything from taxes and finances to places to live to food to eat. So as single people, sometimes we have to do things differently, and that’s okay.”
Finances, conversations, and what she is proud of
The biggest practical challenge is money. One income covering everything, with prices rising and no one to split costs with.
“I am constantly budgeting and trying to figure out how to cut costs,” she said.
“But at the end of the day, funding the entirety of my life is one of the things I am most proud of.”
Stone says she has also found that being single in her late twenties and early thirties became increasingly taboo, as though she had entered a waiting room for the next stage of life.
“Being single isn’t some sort of waiting room,” she said.
“This is my life, and although I do want a partner one day, that isn’t to say that single people can’t find joy, happiness, and success right here right now.”
“Do the thing today”
Stone is building a TikTok series encouraging people to stop waiting for a partner before ticking things off their bucket list.
“It’s a way to hold myself accountable to getting things off of my bucket list rather than saying, well I can do that with a partner one day,” she said.
“Tomorrow isn’t promised, so do the thing today. Whatever that thing is, don’t let it sit in a note in your phone.”
She says her confidence has grown significantly since living alone.
“I am a different person than I was five years ago, because I have embraced all of the ups and downs that come with the lifestyle I live. I am beyond proud of myself.”
Why it matters
Stone’s content taps into a conversation that is growing louder online, particularly among women in their late twenties and thirties who feel their value is still measured by relationship status.
The engagement on this kind of content is high because the experience is common and rarely spoken about this directly.
For creators, single life content is an underserved category with a large, loyal audience that responds strongly to honesty about loneliness, finances and social pressure.
The number of single-person households continues to rise across the US and UK.
The cultural conversation has not caught up. Creators like Stone are filling that gap.
She is still dating. She is still single. She is still, by all available evidence, a fully functioning adult.
